


fluttering hearts and flurry ice

by Anonymous



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Happy Ending, Ice Skating, Injury, Late Night Conversations, Loneliness, M/M, Minor Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, only a bit tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-23 14:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30057030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Well, I can teach you how to skate.”“Well, the thing is...I already know how to skate.”Felix finds himself in front of a 24 hour ice skating center one night. He’s really only there to clear his thoughts.After all, Felix had left the ice in the past a long time ago. He doesn’t skate anymore.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26
Collections: Winter Nights & Summer Days: Round One





	fluttering hearts and flurry ice

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [CHANGLIX FIC FEST: Winter Nights & Summer Days](https://twitter.com/changlixficfest?s=21), for PROMPT **#008**   
>  some notes for reference (if anybody is wondering):   
> 
> 
>   * **triple axel:** the axel is the only figure skating jump that takes off forward. all other jumps take off backward. the triple axel has 3.5 revolutions
>   * **triple toe loop:** the toe loop is entered backwards with the left toe pick striking the ice. the triple toe loop has 3 revolutions.
>   * **sit spin:** the sit spin is performed in a squatting position.
>   * **swizzles:** swizzles make the shape of fish on the ice and are done with a starting “v” position.
>   * crossing your legs in ice skating helps you gain momentum.
> 


_“When I step on the ice, I can simply forget all my problems and let them fly away in the wind.”_

✦✦✦

Felix had always known what he was going to do with his life. 

Ever since that moment he saw a figure skater on TV, ever since he saw those who glided on the ice with nothing stopping them back, ever since he was small he’d always go around to every person he met and say, “I’m going to be a figure skater when i grow up!”

He had always been on the ice. He couldn’t even remember his life before meeting the ice. 

Skating had always been his life. Felix felt that he was _born to skate_. Born to fly on the ice, round and round in circles, leaping and twisting his body mid-air to perfect a spin. He loved the feeling as the air whooshed past his face, the way his feet barely touched the ground, loved the way he felt like a blade through the air, sharp, fast, slim. He had always been captivated by the gracefulness of the sport, the raw yet refined beauty of ice skating, paired with the delicate music, it was all so perfect for Felix. It was what he wanted to do.

It was his dream. To become a figure skater. 

Until he couldn’t. Until he loved the sport too much. 

And he forgot he was human.

✦✦✦

Felix was in Korea. Finally.

It had also always been his dream—well his second dream—to visit Korea. After all, he was Korean American, and having an early life filled with practicing and competing, he had rarely traveled. Korea was his first big trip that was unrelated to ice skating, and for the first time in years, Felix felt _free_.

He was in Korea, without any parental restrictions except for their advice of “Stay safe, don’t do anything too hasty!” _and_ he had his best friend, Chan. Chan, who he hadn’t seen for nearly two years because the elder was off on his exciting adventures in Korea. Chan, who unexpectedly arrived at the beginning of this summer after hearing Felix’s announcement of being accepted into the same university Chan attended, and the two were ecstatic to be reunited and to get to explore Korea together.

And now, all of a sudden, they were in Korea, standing in the middle of an airport, Felix scanning the random assortment of people welcoming travellers, while Chan was busy texting on his phone.

“Minho will be here in a few minutes. He says to just wait here.”

Chan didn’t even try to hide his excitement.

Chan and Minho were “very much in love” as Felix would like to say. He’s never met Minho in person, only through the numerous FaceTime calls held with Chan. But even through them, he could see that the two viewed each other as if they were the keys to the universe.

“Channie!” 

Felix turned to look up from his phone to see a boy barrelling into Chan, hitting the older chest-on and making him stumble back from the force.

Felix turned to look away as the two shared a long kiss, not wanting to intrude in their reunion. And for a small moment, he felt a twinge of jealousy; it wasn’t anything demanding, but it still took root deep in his heart, reminding him that Chan had many friends, close and far, while Felix himself was more regarded as a loner.

He blinked back the feelings, plastering his face with a small smile to look back at the two and let his features flow with happiness at Chan and Minho hugging each other.

“Your hair is blue!” Chan exclaimed.

Minho, who smiled proudly, shook his head to show off the dark blue locks that were previously brown. “Surprise?” he answered cheekily and pecked Chan on the lips.

“Anyways,” Chan finally said after Minho stopped showering him in kisses, “this is Felix. You guys have met, I don’t even know why I’m introducing you two.”

“Oh, wait!” Minho exclaimed as they started to make their way to his car. “I have something for you.”

He dug around in his pockets to produce a small bottle of painkillers.

“Chan told me you couldn’t find yours, so I brought some just in case.”

Felix thanked him profusely. It was true; they were mid-flight when Felix’s foot started hurting, and somehow he had also managed to misplace his bottle of painkillers. 

“All right then,” Minho exclaimed happily. “Let’s get you guys home!”

✦✦✦

Felix was exhausted.

He never really got any sleep on airplanes, and most definitely didn’t on the one from Australia to Korea because he and Chan had a small movie marathon. 

They had also gotten to Korea around a bit after dinner time, so Minho took them out to eat, where dining became more than one hour, then two hours, and then three. And as much as he loved talking to Minho and listening to all the embarrassing stories of Chan, Felix was _tired_ , and all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep. His foot didn’t hurt as much—it was probably only hurting during the flight because of the altitude change—but he could still feel it slightly throbbing.

It was nearing 1 am as Minho ushered a half-asleep Chan and an equally as tired Felix into his house. 

This was the house that Felix would stay in for the next few months, maybe for the next few years. Minho rented it out to five college students, including Chan and Felix. He was told by Chan that he would love living here; it was as if they had a small family to bond with in the midst of their chaotic lives. 

“Go take a shower, okay?” Minho said, smiling softly, the dim light of the hallway illuminating his eyes.

Felix nodded in agreement and pulled his tired body into the shower, not caring if the water was too scalding hot.

He found himself in his designated room later with Minho, freshly showered, sitting at the desk chair.

“You okay?” Minho asked, eyes pondering over Felix as he sat on the bed.

“I’m good, just really tired,” Felix answered.

“You’re worried though.”

They weren’t close at all. Minho only knew Felix as one of Chan’s closest and oldest friends, and Felix only knew Minho as Chan’s boyfriend who he had met in Korea. But still, the way Minho’s eyes pierced through him, it was as if the older knew what was going through Felix’s brain.

Maybe he was just observant.

But he couldn’t help himself relax into Minho’s side when Minho came over and sat down at the edge of the bed next to him, cautiously wrapping an arm around Felix for him to nestle into. It was a sense of comfort, one that Chan didn’t necessarily always deliver, and it made Felix feel like a child again.

“The household will like you,” Minho reassured. “It may take some while to fit in, but we are all just people trying to figure out a way with our lives, trying to find a path through our small goals and big dreams, and we’re all here to support each other and our efforts.”

“Poetic,” Felix commented, trying to make himself believe Minho.

“Basically, don’t worry, all right? Get some sleep tonight. You can meet everybody in the morning.”

✦✦✦

When Felix woke up, it was almost noon. 

He could hear the small buzz of chatter through his door, but he could only distinguish Minho’s voice from the rest. He groaned, blinking his eyes open, only to snap them shut when the sunlight glittered too brightly through the window.

After a good ten minutes of convincing himself to get out of bed and meet the others, Felix finally found himself in the bathroom across the hallway from his room, holding a small blue toothbrush with a small post-it labelled _Felix_. He smiled at Minho’s consideration, feeling a little warmth bloom in his chest. At least Minho likes him.

He cautiously made his way downstairs, only to be met by a furious Monopoly game between four boys.

“Morning!” Minho greeted brightly from the kitchen. “Lunch will be ready in a bit, can you wait until then to eat?”

Felix nodded and let his eyes drift over to the heated Monopoly game.

“ _Seungminnn_ ,” a boy whined, “how come you buy everything? You’re making me go broke here!”

Another boy snickered, only to draw his hand out and let the first boy slap some colored bills into his hand. Felix assumed said boy was Seungmin.

“Hey, _hey!_ It’s Felix!”

Felix looked taken aback when somebody mentioned his name, stopping in his tracks as all four boys turned to face him and wave furiously. He waved timidly back, at first confused how they may know his name only to realize that Minho or Chan may had mentioned it.

They introduced themselves as _Jisung, Jeongin, Hyunjin, Seungmin_.

And then they went back to their Monopoly game.

Felix felt a bit deflated as he took a seat on the couch, pulling out his phone to mindlessly scroll through until Minho called them for lunch.

“Hi!” a cheery voice appeared at Felix’s side.

“I’m Jeongin! Sorry about the others, they just get really intense when playing Monopoly. They’re always playing for money, depending on your place, you’ve gotta pay the winner a set amount of money.”

“Ah,” Felix answered. He let Jeongin chatter about random things in his life and learned to realize that Jeongin was good friends with all the boys in the household, but he didn’t actually live here because he was still in high school. He did sleep over on the weekends and usually came after school, so Felix was guaranteed to see him around nearly every day.

“Minho said you guys got here last night, right?” Jeongin asked. “Chan is still sleeping, that’s why they were whisper arguing earlier. Who knew Seungmin could be equally as scary when he’s whispering?” Jeongin shuddered at the thought as Felix laughed.

Minho called them for lunch and all five of them went. They sat around a big table, laughing about all sorts of stuff, and Felix watched them, their energy seeping into his bones but not fully awakening his sense of conversation yet. 

He didn’t feel quite as left out, but he didn’t feel settled in either.

✦✦✦

He found himself at the front of a 24 hour ice skating center.

He didn’t even know why he was there in the first place.

Felix hadn’t touched ice skating in nearly _four_ years. After his injury, he stopped going to the rink; he stopped everything related to ice skating, because just being close to the ice but not on it made him sad, realizing that he couldn’t achieve his dream of being a professional ice skater.

But now, he was standing in front of an ice skating center for the first time in four years. 

And it was 11 pm. 

It’d been a few weeks since his arrival from Australia, and university had just started. But still, he was awfully tired and restless, and he had no clue why.

He’d spent the first two weeks exploring the city himself. Korea was a completely new place, and his mediocre Korean managed to get him around well enough, at least enough without anybody at his side. Chan had spent the first few days with him but afterwards spent his precious one remaining week to have quality time with Minho. 

It was alright without Chan. It wasn’t like Felix couldn’t live without him; after all he had spent two years without the elder. But he felt a tad bit lonely, especially when he wasn’t fully comfortable asking any of the rest of the household members (except for Minho) to hang out.

He was just lonely, he supposed. He had always been a loner, immersed in practicing his skating, and he had very few friends, and all at once, he was sharing a house with five other people, and his brain just seemed to shut down and refused to socialize.

Maybe that’s why he was at the ice rink. Felix had always thought well at an ice rink. Just being in the presence of an activity that was once a comfort and dream was enough for him to be free of his thoughts for a while. Except this time, he wouldn’t be on the ice. He would only be on the sidelines, but still, the presence of the ice was just enough.

He opened the door, taking a deep inhale of the chilled air. The girl sitting at the front desk perked up after hearing the doorbell clink, and Felix waved a small hand at her.

Her eyes narrowed, not menacingly, but more as if she was thinking harshly. Then she shook her head, and the smile that was previously on her face was back again.

“It’s a good time to skate,” she commented. “Barely anybody’s here.”

“Oh, I, um,” Felix stammered, “I’m not skating exactly. I’m just here to be at the rink, but not to skate. Do I need to pay?”

“Oh, then, no worries!” she answered. “You don’t have to pay as long as you don’t get on the ice, but come back if you change your mind, all right?”

Felix nodded as he headed through the double doors that led to the ice rink.

The air was colder here, sharper, which Felix embraced. He felt at home once again, letting memories of him flying along the ice cloud his mind again. He lifted his arms to his side, letting the air swirl around his hands and reawaken him to his senses. 

This was still his home.

He wanted to stave off the emotions he knew that would come later, emotions that would hit him like a truck, halting him into realization that _this_ could’ve been his dream. He could’ve been standing here, in Australia, getting ready to practice the triple axel. He could’ve been right in front of the rink, about to get on the ice to practice his routine.

Instead, he let his worries free and focused on closing his eyes and feeling the wind whoosh past him again as he glided down the surface of the rink, nothing to hold him back.

It was the start of a classical piece that brought him back to senses.

Felix flushed in embarrassment when he realized he wasn’t alone. 

A male was skating in the middle of the rink, effortlessly and flawlessly making rounds and rounds, and then he jumped, body gracefully twisting to land a clean triple toe loop. He continued with a basic sit spin with Felix’s eyes completely trained on him.

He was blown away by the absolute delicacy the male emitted, the way as if he seemed to fly across the ice with almost no effort and landing everything _perfectly_ as if he was born to be on the ice. 

Felix watched as the male practiced the routine again, watched as the little bits of shattered ice flew up when the male striked the ice with his toe pick, watched as he curled counterclockwise upon himself, and then landed on his outside right blade, drifting backwards with his arms out to steady himself. He continued down the rink, arms propelling him forward as his legs crossed each other to gain speed, and he flew right by Felix barely batting an eye, and proceeded to drop into the sit spin again, his hair whipping in a blur.

God, he was beautiful.

So fucking ethereal.

Felix hadn’t seen anybody who was this well-trained in ice skating in a long time. To be fair, he had placed himself very far from the idea of ice skating for a long time too, but he also needed an excuse to say he was blown away by this man’s presence.

“Hello.”

Felix was knocked out of his reverie by the male’s voice, a bit breathless and pleased.

“Did you enjoy the performance?” he asked, eyes twinkling at Felix’s entranced expression.

“Yeah, yeah, it was—I’m just blown away right now,” Felix answered, laughing slightly. “I mean, I haven’t been to an ice rink in a while and to be met by such a wonderful routine—has anybody told you have a really beautiful triple toe loop?”

“No, you’re the first one,” the other replied, chuckling and stepping off the rink to grab his skate guards. “You skate?”

Felix faltered a moment, trying to decide what to say. “No, I don’t,” he said after a while. “But I do know a lot about skating.”

The male looked at him curiously but didn’t ask. Instead he opted to pick up his water bottle to down a few bits of water.

“So how long have you been skating?” Felix asked. 

“Ever since I was a kid. Meant to become a professional skater and all that, but I’ve come to realize that as much as I love the ice, I don’t really seek it as a career, just a hobby.”

“Ah,” Felix said, not knowing how to answer. He couldn’t imagine being able to give up such a dream, or maybe it was just simply him. “I—I’ve always wanted to skate,” he lied.

“You seem to know a lot about skating,” the male answered. “But how come you don’t skate?”

“It’s not my thing,” Felix said as an excuse. It’s true; it really wasn’t his thing. He _physically_ was banned from skating four years ago until his foot was completely healed. It’s healed now, only hurting when he overexerted it, but Felix didn’t see the point of going back to the rink when all he would do was long for his out-of-reach dream.

Their conversation dulled to silence soon, and Changbin finally stood up from where he was resting to head back onto the ice.

“I’m going to skate for a bit more now, so I guess, see you? I never really caught your name though. I’m Changbin.”

“Felix. Nice to meet you.”

✦✦✦

“There’s been this boy there at the rink,” Changbin’s sister said. 

“Mhm, yeah, I talked to him for a bit sometimes. He’s nice,” Changbin answered between mouthfuls of his noodles.

“He looks a lot like Lee Felix from Australia.”

“Who?”

“Aish,” she said, slapping him on the shoulder. 

“Hey, I don’t pay attention to everything that happens in the skating world. That’s a you thing,” Changbin complained.

“Lee Felix. He was an ice skater. Everybody thought he was going to be Australia’s next big thing. And then he had a foot injury and suddenly disappeared. I mean, foot injuries are pretty common. Nobody thought it would be such a setback for him, but now people are saying he doesn’t skate anymore because of it.”

“The dude I talk to doesn’t skate though, but his name is Felix. You think they’re the same person?”

“Positive.”

✦✦✦

Felix stopped in his tracks when he saw the lights of his room on.

It was nearing 1 am, which was the usual time he got back from the ice rink. Many of the household members would be asleep now or else in their respective rooms. 

His light was on. Did he forget to turn it off earlier?

He bit his lip and slowly creaked the door open to see Chan sitting at his desk.

“Hey, Chan,” Felix said, glancing up at the older who seemed really tired.

“Hey, Felix,” the older mumbled back. “Where’ve you been?”

“Just went out,” Felix answered, taking off his jacket. “I needed to clear my thoughts.”

“But you went out last night too. And the night before.”

 _Ah_. Somebody must’ve caught on and told Chan.

“Well, I went to the ice rink. To clear my thoughts. I’ve been going every day of this week.”

“You skate?” Chan asked, glancing down at Felix’s foot. “Not sure if that’s the best idea. Doesn’t your foot still hurt sometimes?”

“Yeah,” Felix said. “I don’t skate though. I just go there to clear my mind. And sometimes I talk to the skaters there.”

“Oh, all right then,” Chan answered, ending the conversation. “You know you can talk to me right? Best friends?”

“Yeah,” Felix said, throwing him a soft smile. “Sometimes, I just need to clear my thoughts. And I miss the ice rink.”

✦✦✦

The weeks passed. 

He continued going to the ice skating center, but only every few days. He saw Chan’s side-eyed glances when he left the house right after dinner.

A part of him was upset with Chan’s behavior. He’s known Chan for nearly his whole life, and just one look at the older’s face told him that Chan didn’t believe Felix, even when he spoke the truth. Felix went to the ice rink to clear his thoughts; he’d never set foot on the rink _once_. 

The weeks passed. 

The house was nice. Everybody was nice. But on the nights when Felix didn’t go out, when he felt too tired or had too much homework, he’d spend a few minutes watching the others at the dining table or in the living room. They all seemed so happy together, like one big family. Somebody was always constantly wrapped around somebody else, and there was constant teasing. But the more he watched, the more Felix realized that he was an outsider. He didn’t fit in, as comforting and nice they were. 

The weeks passed.

He and Chan drifted apart too. He supposed because Chan had _so_ many things in his life, Minho, the household, university, study groups, _everything_ that Felix didn’t have. And Felix was the complete opposite; the only thing Felix had was the ice rink (and Changbin).

He felt so alone.

His one best friend was slowly placing himself out of his life. Felix felt desperate, but he didn’t know how to approach Chan about it. Like, what was he supposed to do? Go up to the elder and say, _“Hey, I feel like you’re losing interest in me, and I feel like our friendship is slowly breaking, can we spend some time together?”_

He couldn’t.

Just standing there on the staircase, watching the others fight for the place in Chan’s lap before Minho pushed them off, watching Chan kiss Minho good bye every morning, watching Chan call out to tell them about a study group, watching the others verse each other in Mario Kart as Chan looked at them fondly. He felt so alone, but he couldn’t simply _integrate_ himself into their lives. 

He even stopped going to the ice rink one week just to gauge Chan’s reaction. Maybe Chan noticed, maybe he didn’t, but he didn’t show any signs.

One week went. Then another. 

And then it was three weeks since he had gone to the ice rink.

And that’s when it all came crashing down.

Or maybe it was just a little domino effect that started building weeks and weeks ago, when everything started.

✦✦✦

Felix’s morning started off with Jisung yelling at Hyunjin. 

They didn’t get in fights often, but when they did, the after effects were nasty. Felix sped through his breakfast so that he didn’t have to feel the brunt of their glares.

And then he missed the bus.

Usually, Felix would be fine with missing the bus. That meant he just had to wait a bit more for the next bus, but this morning, he desperately needed to be early for his class because he was trying to catch his professor before the session to ask a few questions. Instead, he arrived barely on time and drenched from the early October showers.

The day grew progressively worse. He managed to mess up his Korean sentences too many times to count, and the usual café he headed to in the afternoon was crowded by all the cold people from the rain. He was in a disheartening mood by the time he trudged back to the house, unable to do homework at the café.

And he was met by a still angry Hyunjin with an unnecessarily Jeongin trying to fill the silence in the living room.

He went upstairs to start his homework, and he managed to get a bit done. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it was the most he really did today, so it made him feel a bit better.

Chan and Minho arrived home, and suddenly, the house was _loud_. It seemed as if Jisung and Hyunjin had made up, and the others were all happily gaming downstairs.

And then the loneliness started to creep in.

He joined the others at dinner, once again watching their conversations tossed back and forth.

The pit of loneliness only grew. 

He had been ignoring it for days, but now, as Minho glanced his way to make sure Felix was eating, Minho’s eyes saw right through him. 

He finished his dinner quickly and excused himself; there was no way he was about to discuss his problems with Minho. Or Chan. Or anybody in particular. 

He needed somewhere to go.

He bolted out the house with his jacket in hand, only regretting it when a slight drizzle slowly dotted across his hair. He didn’t really mind it after a while; it only helped to numb his senses and emotions.

Almost winter, the rain reminded him.

Making his way to the ice rink, Felix locked his thoughts away, hoping to not think about anything until his trip back from the ice rink. He hoped there wouldn’t be anybody at the rink tonight—even though that was very unlikely; Changbin was always there. He didn’t really want to talk to anybody. 

There wasn’t anybody at the front desk to his relief. The girl who usually was there, Ahnjong, whose name Felix had finally learned after a few visits, was probably in the back, not expecting anybody tonight.

He made his way through the doors that led to the rink.

There was somebody there.

Swan Lake was playing softly in the background. It was one of Felix’s songs, one of his favorites to ice skate to, even if his old coach complained that it was too overplayed. The song made him feel powerful with all the swells and leaps, but it held onto some delicate air at the same time, much like ice skating was to him.

He hadn’t heard this song in years.

Felix listened to the descending strings, hearing them slow down and then suddenly the song burst into it’s full beauty, the highest wave of all. Suddenly the music was everywhere, burning through his ears and blanketing his mind with memories.

And Felix’s emotionally riled up brain simply couldn’t handle it.

He let the first few tears fall, smiling painfully at all his memories, memories of him spending years skating to this song, _his_ song.

Coach had always called it his song, as much as Coach had hated it.

He felt a pair of arms wrap around him, and he leaned down to snuggle into the other person’s warmth, crying softly. His ears vaguely registered that Swan Lake had ended, and another piece was playing.

After a while, he realized he was hugging Changbin. It felt nice. It had been a while since he hugged anybody. The comfort kept him from falling into a deeper pit.

“Hi,” Changbin murmured when they pulled apart, immediately picking up a tissue to dab Felix’s eyes.

“Hi.” Felix’s voice came out as a quaver.

Changbin’s eyes glanced at him up and down, and then he was taking Felix by the hand, intertwining their fingers and saying, “You’re all wet, I don’t think the cold air here will help.”

Felix let Changbin drag him through the doors and to the front desk, where he knocked loudly, shouting, “Ahnjong? Open up!”

Ahnjong opened up with a confused expression and let them in.

Changbin set Felix down on the sofa in the corner as Ahnjong watched worriedly from another sofa.

So this was what the back looked like, Felix thought. Just an office with some sofas.

Felix watched Changbin make two cups of cocoa, handing one to him. He watched him nod to Ahnjong who raised an eyebrow before quietly slipping outside and leaving the two in silence.

“So, how are you?” Changbin asked, sitting down so close to Felix that the younger could feel the heat radiating off his skin. “And don’t say you’re fine, because clearly you weren’t. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody cry so hard to Swan Lake; hell, I don’t even think I’ve seen anybody cry to Swan Lake.”

Felix would like to argue. Swan Lake was a good song to cry to.

But instead, he opted to say, “I had a rough night. Rough day in general.”

Changbin turned his eyes to the front, nursing his mug of cocoa, before stating, “Ah, it’s one of those days. Hits you like a dump truck, eh?”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed.

“So, you haven’t been here in a while. Kinda missed you.”

“Yeah,” Felix said, letting his voice trail off. “I’ve been busy, life’s been hectic and shit.” He laughed at the last part because honestly, that was the perfect word he’d been looking for to describe the past week.

“Thought you came here to destress though? Clear your thoughts?” His tone was teasing.

Felix didn’t say anything. Damn Changbin and his wonderful memory.

“I didn’t do anything right?” Changbin asked, this time more quietly and cautiously.

“No, no, you didn’t do anything,” Felix quickly answered. 

“There’s just a lot going on,” he finally said.

Changbin paused for a moment, as if he was thinking. “Well, I suppose I can try to distract you? Now that you’re here and all.”

Felix shrugged.

“I can teach you how to skate.”

Felix opened his mouth and paused. His eyes wandered up to meet Changbin’s, who was looking at him intensely, as if he was studying Felix’s reaction. 

There wasn’t any rule that said Felix couldn’t skate. His foot was healed, at least to the best of its abilities. His doctors had said that he could try skating a while ago. There wasn’t anything physically stopping him from skating.

But the mental aspect of it was daunting. Felix was scared of going back onto the ice; he was scared that he would become addicted to the sport, to the point that he’d hurt himself again.

But Changbin didn’t know that. Changbin thought he simply didn’t know how to skate.

“Well, the thing is...I already know how to skate.”

Changbin’s face betrayed no expression.

“I used to train as a professional ice skater. And then one year, I pushed my right foot too hard and injured it.” 

Felix took a deep breath.

“And me being the smart person”—Felix chuckled at the thought—“I continued skating because I didn’t think it was that serious. And then a year later of just dealing with the pain, it got really worse when I started training even more, just training for even larger competitions, and then one day I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t even _move_ my foot, so I had to go to a doctor.”

“And it turns out, I severely injured my ankle, severely inflamed, and they sent me to surgery. And I haven’t stepped foot onto the ice ever since.”

“Of course, my foot is healed now. That was a few years ago.”

Changbin nodded along with a knowing look. “You must be Lee Felix, the Australian, right?”

“You know me?” Felix asked incredulously. “I didn’t think I’m that famous.”

“I _didn’t_ know you. My sister did.”

“I’ve never met your sister?”

“Silly, Ahnjong’s my sister.”

Oh. Felix was dumb. 

“So...do you still want to skate?” Changbin asked.

 _Does_ he still want to skate? 

His thoughts instantly jumped to Chan.

What would Chan say in this situation? He’d say, _no, don’t. Your foot still hurts once in a while, right?_

But Chan also was the one who told him to follow his heart, and his heart ached to skate at that moment.

He hadn’t done anything that made him happy in ages. Hadn’t hung out with Chan, hadn’t talked to anybody, hadn’t talked to Changbin in a while. So maybe he should just let himself indulge a little, let his heart breathe a little.

“Okay. I’ll skate.”

✦✦✦

Felix laced up the rental skates, feeling the laces burn against his hands. He wished he had his own skates, but he grew out of his old pair. He really disliked rental skates; the insides were always a bit damp, and he knew his feet were going to smell awful after this. 

“We don’t have to rush. We have the whole night,” Changbin reminded him.

 _We_. Changbin referred to them. At least Felix knew he wasn’t going to be alone that night.

He unsteadily stood up, grabbing onto Changbin’s shoulder in case he fell. Being in skates was _weird_. It felt like he was a kid again, taking his very first steps on the ice, learning how to walk. Except this time, he had all the memories of skills stores in his muscles; if only he could command his muscles to behave.

Changbin led Felix to the door to the rink, letting him step on the ice, when suddenly, with a _wham!_ Felix slipped and landed butt first and skidded away.

“Ow!” he complained. “I definitely don’t miss falling. And I forgot how slippery it is.”

“Here you go,” Changbin said, handing him a pair of spare gloves. Felix thanked him and tried getting up again, only to fall back down whilst dragging Changbin down with him.

“Why’d you bring me down?” he exclaimed.

“Hey, if you’re going to laugh at me, then I should be able to laugh at you falling on the ice too.”

The two helped each other up, Changbin holding Felix’s hands as the latter slowly shuffled around, testing the waters as he put slight pressure on his right foot. It didn’t hurt, and it didn’t give in, so Felix took that as a good sign and pushed off, letting his body drift along the curve of the rink with one leg extended.

He cried happily.

It had been _so_ long.

He missed it.

Gradually, he started skating faster, trying to catch up to Changbin’s fast pace who was always just a few feet ahead of him, taunting him with laughter. And slowly, his skills came back, his ability to cross his legs, his ability to do little swizzles, and on one occasion, he did a small leap in the air, mouth curling up in a smile as Changbin applauded at his improvement.

This wasn’t Felix’s dream, but it was enough to keep him happy. To be able to fly free on the rink and embrace the little details of skating—that impact when Felix hit the side of the rink with a _thump!_ , that giggle when Changbin purposefully pushed him, that bubbly personality finally showing a bit through once he was comfortable.

And then, it was two hours later, and both boys were panting. 

“Do you think you’ll cry if I play Swan Lake again?” Changbin asked.

Felix laughed and shook his head, body running off adrenaline and serotonin.

The music started once again, but this time Changbin took Felix’s hands into his own and led them down the rink, the elder skating backwards, and the two swaying to the music.

The action was soft, and it made Felix warm all over. He was so _happy,_ so happy to be at the ice skating center, flying down the rink to his favorite song, with his hands held by Changbin.

And as he gazed into Changbin’s sparkly eyes, he smiled and started tearing up—happy tears of course. He was just so happy; after a few weeks of hell, he felt like he was on top of the world. And Changbin smiled back, and they were lost in the world of flurry ice and dancing violins.

And as the song slowed to its end, they too slowed, Changbin guiding Felix to the edge of the rink.

“It’s getting late,” he whispered, as if breaking the silence would break Felix’s happiness.

It was nearly 2 a.m.

“Oh shit,” Felix gulped. “The last bus left at 1:15 a.m.”

“I can take you home,” Changbin offered. “I can drive. Well, I can drive a motorcycle.”

Home. Did he want to go home? He knew that Chan was probably still awake, and he knew that if Chan heard him walk into the house at 2 a.m., he would freak and ask where Felix had been.

Changbin watched as the many emotions passed through Felix’s face, watching when the desolation passed through and noticed the droop in his eyes.

“Or I,” he said tentatively, “I don’t live far from here. You can stay overnight?”

He was afraid that he had said that too early. Their friendship wasn’t anything much; they had only bonded from tonight. Still, Changbin gave it a try.

“Can I?” Felix asked. 

The prospect of staying with Changbin for the rest of the night…

“Yeah, it’ll be no problem,” Changbin said. “My sister lives with me though, but her shift here doesn’t end until 7 a.m., so you’ll hear her in the morning.”

“That’s fine,” Felix assured.

✦✦✦

“I’ve never been on a motorcycle.”

“You haven’t?” 

“Nope.”

Felix slipped the helmet on as Changbin started the motorcycle.

“Well, just hold on tight. Don’t, like, let go or anything.”

Felix hesitantly wrapped his arms around Changbin’s waist, feeling his cheeks heat up by such a small action. 

They sped down the street, the wind whipping past Felix’s jacket. He clutched onto Changbin tighter, mainly for safety but also for the warmth. 

It was fascinating to be on a motorcycle, especially at 2 a.m. All the bright lights flew past them, and it was as if they were in their own little world and the rest of life was passing through. It seemed as if the gods were on their side as Changbin didn’t hit a single red light, and Felix was content spending the rest of the night wrapped around Changbin and enjoying the views.

In less than ten minutes, they had arrived at Changbin’s apartment. 

Changbin parked the motorcycle in the underground garage, and the two took the elevator up to the fifth floor, where Changbin introduced his apartment as “the cleanest and messiest place you will ever step foot in.”

“You should shower,” Changbin pointed out as Felix set his jacket on the couch. “I can lend you some clothes, and I’ll get you a sleeping bag. You okay sleeping in my room?”

Felix nodded.

“What time are your classes tomorrow?” Changbin asked.

“First one at 11 a.m.,” Felix answered.

“All right then, I’ll wake you up around 9:30 then.”

He headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower. He could feel sleep starting to overtake him.

✦✦✦

Felix awoke to Changbin softly smiling down at him. 

He looked really pretty.

The rays of sunshine peeked through the window, making Changbin glow in the mid-October morning. He was propped up on one arm, shirt hanging loosely to expose the wide expanse of his neck and part of his collarbone, and Felix had to resist the temptation of climbing into Changbin’s bed and kissing the heck out of him.

“Good morning,” he whispered.

“Gosh, I’m still so tired,” Changbin mumbled. “ _And_ I have a class at eleven too!”

Felix giggled at the pout in Changbin’s voice.

“Damn, we’re both fucked,” Changbin exclaimed, head flopping dramatically on his pillow.

“Unless…”

“Unless…”

“...We can skip classes,” Changbin suggested. “I don’t mind spending some more time with you.”

If Felix was looking at Changbin with heart-shaped eyes, Changbin didn’t comment on it. 

“Sure,” Felix said, “except I’ve never skipped a class in a long time.”

“Me too,” Changbin said, giggling. “Are you going back to sleep?”

“You should go back to sleep, you seem tired.”

“Mhm,” Changbin hummed. “But maybe, you can join me in bed? I like being around you.”

Felix laughed and crawled out the sleeping bag to join Changbin under the covers.

He’s never really opened up to anybody this quickly before. Not even Chan. He was shy, introverted, but at the same time, when around close friends, he was affectionate and bubbly. But with Changbin, Felix felt free. Maybe it was because Changbin was the one who took him ice skating, reinvigorating Felix with the energy he once had. 

Felix looked at Changbin, whose arms were wrapped around his waist. This felt nice. He felt happy. If you had asked him a few weeks ago, Felix didn’t think he’d ever be this close to the elder. But just after a night, Felix had opened up to Changbin, Felix had trusted Changbin, given him his heart to be held in the latter’s hands.

Felix picked up his phone that Changbin had thoughtfully plugged in last night. He was met with a slew of messages from Minho and Chan.

  
**chan:** why didn’t you come home?  
**chan:** are u ok ???

**chan:** felix whereare u :( it’s morning and you’re not here

**minho** : felix bub where are you? chan is getting concerned  
**minho** : i hope you’re somewhere safe tonight <3

Felix let a wane smile slip onto his face. Chan and Minho acted just like his parents.

 _“I’m good, at a friend’s place_ ,” he texted back to both of them.

And then he slipped his phone back onto Changbin’s night stand and drifted back to sleep.

✦✦✦

“Morning. Or, it’s more noon now.”

Felix opened his eyes to be met by Changbin’s bright ones. He snuggled back into Changbin’s chest, inhaling the elder’s scent and contemplated going back to sleep.

The air was peaceful. He felt content just lying here all day, not moving. Spending the day with Changbin in bed would be enough.

“We should really get up,” Changbin said. “I’m getting kind of hungry.”

Felix agreed and let Changbin sit up.

“We can go to a café and get some breakfast? And then we can go somewhere,” Changbin suggested.

The two finally got up, careful not to be too loud to the point Ahnjong would complain. Soon, Felix was bundled back in his clothes from last night, freshly cleaned by Changbin’s washer.

Changbin really was thoughtful.

Changbin took them down the street to a bustling café that smelled like cocoa and sugar.

And upon arriving and pushing open the door, Felix squinted his eyes to recognize…

...Minho? Working at the café?

“Hi, Minho,” Changbin greeted as Minho and Felix exchanged glances.

“Hi, Changbin, Felix,” Minho said slowly, eyes flitting to the two’s intertwined hands. Changbin paid no attention, looking between Felix and Minho quizzically. 

“Do you two know each other?”

“We live in the same house,” Minho explained. “He’s one of the renters.”

“Ohh,” Changbin realized. “So you must know Chan and Jisung right? I study music with them.”

“Whoa,” Felix said, trying to process all the information.

Changbin was friends with Minho, _and_ Chan, _and_ Jisung. And he took classes with Chan and Jisung.

The world really was a small place.

“We were really worried about you last night,” Minho said to Felix as they finished ordering. “Chan was freaking out. But at least you were in Changbin’s good hands.”

Minho smiled widely, like a cheshire cat. 

“And you guys look cute together,” Minho whispered into Felix’s ear.

 _Oh_.

Hopefully Changbin didn’t notice his blush.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before,” Changbin said as they sat down in the corner of the café, “but I really enjoy spending time with you. I know we haven’t been friends long, and we really only spent time together last night, but you really do make everything in life a lot more fun.”

And maybe Changbin implied a bit more.

They haven’t known each other for long, barely two months. It wasn’t love at first sight per say, but they definitely clicked that fateful night. And maybe they were rushing through this a bit too quickly, maybe Felix should’ve taken a bit more caution with letting people into his life, but he was too excited about getting to know Changbin and the future the two had together. 

It’s as if Changbin had always been in his life. He slotted into Felix’s arms perfectly, and their hands were always intertwined when they were together. His head fit perfectly in the crook of Felix’s neck, his arms felt like home when they were asleep. And Felix thought he would be scared on this journey of friendship, but with Changbin at his side, he felt only courage, so he took it upon himself to initiate something that he hoped they both felt, a small kiss on the cheek one November evening as they flew across the ice rink in unison.

And as the weeks passed, the nights grew warmer even though the seasons grew colder, and as winter approached, Changbin became Felix’s beacon of warmth.

And even though Felix hated winter, it was the season where he had found Changbin.

✦✦✦

_“When I step on the ice, the memories all come flying back and I would gladly relive them once again.”_


End file.
